Confession: I AM DEPRESSED (alternate prompt)

     " Depression is my obsession. Lost and found being tossed around. My heart is breaking... every beat it's aching. Tired of getting hurt every time... I wish and pray you will be mine. Trust me I'm the one... let's go have some fun. I'm so confused as we speak, I'm drowning in this murky creek. Thinking of what i did... realizing I'm just a kid... I'll be waiting for you...I love you..."- Dion Ball
     I confess that i have been depressed lately. There are a great variety of why i am, but is super hard to share with others. what ever I'm doing it.
     Girls are one of the main reasons why my my emotion is like this. I am so confused of what I actually do wrong. It's a giant build up of questions that i don't know and questions that sike me out. Am i attractive? Do i fall for a girl to quick? Is my personality and actions ruin my chances with every girl i meet? Is my patience to short to find the one? The list can go on and on. I can never get a real answer because I'm getting opinions. Ever since Mrs. Magz, Tyler Crawford, Kyle, and my family tell me there advise with care, I have felt that i have changed deeply. What can i do to change this illness? help me.
     My family that i treat with no respect gets to me so easily. My mom still gets me what ever i want even though i have a job. I will constantly argue with her over the most ridiculous things. She is trying to teach me a valuable lesson right now, " Positive things happen  to positive people." My sister that is raising a family with two kids takes me anywhere i please. I always leave the car with out saying thank you. i need to take action and not run all over my sister and use her for stupid things. such as, going to dance clubs, football games, gym, ECT. What can i do to stop this from occurring? help me.
     My relationship with god is even drifting away in front of my eyes. I always blame him for my losses and ask him why did you take my dad away from me at the age of 3? Why are my relationships with girls and family terrible? I lost avid the one thing that mattered to me. My young life leader Nyk has been helping me the most and told me the greatest piece of knowledge i learned. "God has a plan for you". I believe and trust this statement one hundred percent. Does god believe me when i say this? i hope he forgives me for acting dumb. Help me.

DAD "CNF"

"Dad you look happy but clueless at the same time." "Are you hiding something?" "Come on speak up, now is the time." There was a dead silence as if we were in a hot humid desert as a ball of hay flys by. He slowly mumbles talking under his breath, "there was no money in my wallet." I knew it was him the whole that took my money that i worked hard to earn. "Dad you could have just asked?" I walked away stomping my feet on the dusty hard wood floor huffing and puffing i was so disappointed and frustrated with him at that minute. But then i soon realize after what i said was super disrespectful. But hey he does provide with me comfortable clothes that i like, food that gets my taste buds going, and a beautiful house to sleep in peacefully. Also he provides my wants and needs just from the kindness from his heart. After i boiled down, i walked back in the room with that scent of cigarettes that he bought with my money, i apologized heart felt, I'm sorry dad for being disrespectful to you and acting like a 3 year old not getting there way." "Its alright son i just really needed to get some cigarettes to get rid of some stress because i have smud to pay." I walked away nodding my head, "its all good." I always ask myself all the time how dad is always so understanding with the way i act? Maybe its because he has to daughters that are older than me. so he is probably used to girls yapping at him for money left and right for make-up,clothes,shoes,perfume, the list never ends. I think for now on I'm going to respect my dad for when ever he needs money no matter how ridiculous it is. I think every once in a while i will offer dad money if he needs help on those stressful bills or cigarettes or anything. the next day passes and asked dad, " hey dad did you need money or something or anything
?" he replies, no thanks Dion but i really appreciate the offer and looking out for your manly father." i chuckled about the "manly" part. you know what it actually feels pretty good to be so giving and kind to those who don't have much and need help with something. all those people in hurricane Katrina, or in Haiti. all those families lost literally everything they owned. even people that are related to them,man, i could only imagine what all those kids have to go through every day. No shower,water,food, house and more. i just pray that everything will get better and know that they have my support. i think i should start a fundraiser! i just now realized that I'm more than grateful then the things that i have. take life as a gift not as a waste.

women

　
Woman, what are they good for? We have them do what we tell them to do. They listen or else there will be consequences. If I want a sandwich then she will make it. No questions asked. No back talking. All they have to do is follow these simple directions then they wont have any problems
Us men most of the time pay the bills and always provide the family of health, food, and a house. Is that enough for you guys? Oh wait we have to pay for your phone bill, make up, expensive clothes, hair, nails, tanning ect. Especially the phone bills get me. Woman are mystery’s with there phones because us guys don’t know if your cheating on us which most likely you guys are. Then when ever we look at a girl we get accused of cheating. Women just are confusing and two- faced. They are nice to your face but act different to other people and will gossip drama. It seems like that 99.9% girls are like this or at least I think so. Girls are almost useless in the world. But hey they do make some pretty bomb sandwiches.